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July 29, 2007

Rocking Slightly

So I've set up the hammock.

I don't expect that anybody who happens upon this space these days will have followed it closely enough to understand the significance of that, but suffice to say that the thing has hung in two different sheds for a total of four years (or so) and never been used. Indeed, it had become a symbol of the life that I wasn't living. When an acquaintance bemoaned his having failed to take his boat out yet this summer, the hammock came to mind — a vessel of a different short that I had failed to take out yet this century.

The decisive realization was that, for all my labor, I've gained mere inches in financial advancement at the cost of miles of living. All of those activities that I'd held so dear — from walking the dog to practicing piano — have drifted away, and I've very little to show for the sacrifice. What's the point? So I've spent some time softly swinging.

I had one of those experiences, recently, wherein one's contemplations are interrupted by an internal voice that seems almost otherly. The question on which I brooded was what I should do with my life, or about my life, and the voice asked, "Well, what do you want to do?"

"I want to write."

"So then write."

Experience suggests that nothing rejuvenescent will come of either the writing or of the hammock, but sacrificing repose and passion has gained me little, so there's little to lose by throwing myself into the wind.

Posted by Justin Katz at July 29, 2007 3:47 PM

Thank you for deciding to "throw yourself into the wind." The breeze you create with your words is refreshing.

Posted by: Michael at August 1, 2007 7:22 PM
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