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October 16, 2004

Is Asexuality a Choice?

Well, it has always been a possibility that the singles movement would push for the various benefits offered their married acquaintances, but this certainly advances the progression a stage or two:

"If asexuality is indeed a form of sexual orientation, perhaps it will not be long before the issue of 'A' pride starts attracting more attention," New Scientist says.

Activists have already started campaigning to promote awareness and acceptance of asexuality, it reports.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network has an online store that sell items promoting awareness and acceptance on asexuality.

Among the items is a T-shirt with the slogan, "Asexuality: it's not just for amoebas anymore."

Only in a stunningly corrupted culture could those who are less inclined toward the sin of the age feel the need to campaign for acceptance. In the fashion of our day, some among these folks will surely decide that the law has no basis to discriminate against them in the various ways that it encourages people to pair up.

Posted by Justin Katz at October 16, 2004 12:11 AM
Marriage & Family

This asexuality meme feels completely artificial. The underlying social science sounds bogus: One percent of people will say just about anything on a survey, just to mess around. I would bet that these activists promoting awareness of asexuality aren't themselves asexual at all. They're sex-obsessed, probably gay activists, and they're trying to push their worldview by categorizing everyone sexually---even those who don't want to have sex.

No doubt some group of people has no interest in sex. But they would be the last people in the world to identify themselves on that basis. They would ignore sex entirely and focus instead on work, friends, entertainment, etc.

The sex-obsessed in this country need to get over themselves. Life is much larger than sex. People are more than their genitals.

Posted by: Ben Bateman at October 16, 2004 12:45 AM

One percent of people probably will say anything. OTOH, only two or three percent of the population is gay, and the popular movement in support of that group has become quite substantial. So what would the new acronym be -- GLBTQ&A?

I think Ben is exactly right, though -- if someone truly were asexual, he'd be likely to define himself entirely without reference to sex. It's a bit absurd to define such a category in this way.

Posted by: Kimberly at October 16, 2004 3:26 PM

I'm not asexual, but I support this movement as a big punch in the nose for our over-sexualized culture. Yes, it's true they still have sex as a reference, but the fact that they deny the absolute need of having sex to be happy, makes me like their cause.I'm 55, and I've seen many efforts through the years to portrait priests, monks and nuns as somewhat (or very much) "abnormal" for their celibacy. Although it is not a complete answer to that, asexuality clames back the possibility of not having sex and being perfectly normal. As they say, this is IMHO of course. God bless all. :)

Posted by: Miguel at October 22, 2004 5:06 AM

It's kind of hard to focus on "work, friends, entertainment, etc." when our entire culture is screaming at us to find that perfect mate and settle down. It's hard to relate to entertainment and friends, especialy sexually oriented friends, when sex makes up such a big part of their lives, something which we don't get. Some of us asexuals do feel a need (socially induced?) to find that "special someone" with whom we can have the most emotional intimacy; preferably without the sex. And this is confusing for the prospective "someone." Hence the need to get to the word out, because it gets somewhat annoying and painful every time I get told by a significant other that I need to seek medical help for not wanting to have sex them.

Posted by: Alex at November 10, 2004 3:00 AM

For Ben:
How can one ignore sex entirely? It is on billboards, adverts, books, films, comics, radio, art, songs, shops, sex education, couples are seen everywhere. When with friends, how often do you talk about sex, girl/boyfriends? Sex permeates just about every part of life.
And for one who has never been interested in sex, and sees this surrounding themself everywhere every day, they will think there is something seriously wrong, broken and defective with themself. Surely realising that you are not the only person like that is bound to make you think "wow, I'm not alone, this is good". Then some of those people will think that by spreading the message that others will also realise they are not alone and prevent them from hating themself because they are defective in not feeling sexual attraction.

For Kimberly:
Imagine you were asexual - you felt no sexual attraction to anyone, ever. (Tricky to imagine, I know.)
One of your friends, having noticed that you haven't had a relationship for years, or have never had a relationship, reasons that you are gay. They ask you if you are straight, gay or bi. How do you respond? You can't respond in any way except by saying you are not sexual (ie asexual), and then you have defined yourself with reference to sex.

Posted by: Emma at December 11, 2004 5:49 PM

Obviously this thread is no longer being read, but the things Miguel, Alex, and Emma say are all true, and I wanted to add my voice to theirs. Many people do assume that any virgin over a certain age must be either gay (even though that makes no sense, since the virgin has had no sex, not just no sex with the opposite sex) or deeply weird. Anyone who says that that is wrong gets my support.

Posted by: James Kabala at February 13, 2005 8:16 PM

Well, I AM pretty much asexual. I do not have zero sex drive, but I have never been sexually attracted to anyone. And I am sick of ALWAYS getting the question "Are you a lesbian" when someone new finds out that I never have sex.

Posted by: ehartsay at April 18, 2005 4:43 PM

What if you get a sex drive?

Posted by: r at May 11, 2005 10:04 AM

Asexuality is derived from reference to plants and other creatures that don't need a mate to reproduce and means without sex. This is not quite appropriate when discussing human population because we can not reproduce by our own means, and are not lacking a sex, we are all always male, or female, but are lacking sexual interest and orientation. I'm sorry, but I do believe that asexuality is a real phenomenom. its alot harder to identify than being gay, lesbian, transgender, or bisexual, because all those have something in common; they are characterised by the engagement in some act, while asexuality is simply the absence of this. i mean this is a hard world to live in, im pretty open about my lack of sex drive but often get shut down by people telling me that "someday youll find the right person." asexuality is not a personal choice, or a lifesyle, its something embedded deep within a person. trust me, if i could change the way i am i most certainly would; its not that im ashamed, but in a sex driven society its harder than you think to be the odd one out.

Posted by: Kim at June 19, 2005 4:52 PM

well I am 26 and it hasn't shown up yet...

Posted by: ehartsay at July 23, 2005 7:23 PM