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Rhode Island! It's Time for Plan C.

This depressing, concise, and true piece by Providence Journal columnist Edward Achorn has inspired me to finally unveil a plan that I've been working on. I call it "Plan C" (for "conservative").

You see, I'm one of those folks who comes to conclusions and supports ways of thinking and acting because I've thought about them (usually) and think that they are right and true. Assuming that most conservative thinkers are the same, I'll trust that many of the policies, particularly in economics, that they support will really do what they are proposed to do: grow the economy and make the world a better place (insert image of sunny bay with smiling families and cartoon animals).

Therefore, I propose that conservative Americans (and those who empathize but are afraid — or just not ready — to claim the title) move, in droves, to Rhode Island. It is a very small state, and in just one or two election cycles, we could populate the state government with at least enough conservative politicians to change the state from a beacon for New England's welfare recipients to a beacon for businesses.

After a few years, our state will become known for its sensible policies throughout the New England region. The movement will spread. First the region, then the country. Good ideas will finally be given voice. The EU will stop dictating the proper width of holes in Swiss cheese. Society will advance. ("Dogs and cats, living together!")

C'mon people! Can you picture it?!!?

I hope so because I don't have the energy to devise a Plan D (no, not "Democrat," not "Death Ray," maybe "Delaware"...?)

Posted by Justin Katz @ 11:53 PM EST


Conservatives happen to be heavier than liberals (it's all that red meat). What happens if we all move there and the state sinks into the ocean?

Victor @ 08/08/2002 09:27 PM EST

Watch it Victor! I know Rhode Islanders (even liberal ones) who will beat you up for implying that the state is actually an island. ("It's one of the original colonies! People should know that it isn't an island!")

I think that we should make a big deal about the possibility of the state sinking, anyway... the vision of additional water-front property will incite the liberals in MA and CT to help in the initiative!

Justin Katz @ 08/08/2002 09:40 PM EST